If You Could Hear What I Hear
by SilverWing2
Summary: Quatre died trying to protect Heero and after Heero awakens from a coma he begins to learn a few things about his friend... 4+1, 3+1, 1+4, 1+3, past 3x4, 2x5...I think that's it.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Pairings for this chapter: Past 3x4  
  
Warnings for this chapter: Death, angst  
  
Notes: If it doesn't make sense now it will in the next few chapters.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Heero opened his eyes, confused. His entire body hurt and his mind seemed foggy. Drugs, he realized as he looked around. 'Hospital'. The word meant safety. Heero knew that if OZ were to catch him he'd be dead and so far, he was in too much pain to be dead.  
  
"Hey!" A voice out of Heero's line of sight shrieked and someone rushed over to him. A thick braid landed in his face. "Oops, sorry." The braid disappeared and Duo's face appeared before Heero. Duo grinned, "Glad to see that you're okay."  
  
Heero was confused at first. Then he remembered the battle. They had been surrounded by Mobil Dolls and out numbered a hundred to one and Sandrock had - "Quatre! Sandrock had protected me.Duo, is Quatre okay?" He asked weakly as he looked up at the God of Death.  
  
Duo smiled sadly. "If Wing had taken another blast you'd have been destroyed." He began to explain quietly. "Quatre had opened his hatch to jump out but he wasn't fast enough." He avoided Heero's eyes. "He took a direct hit to the hatch when Sandrock protected Wing."  
  
Heero's eyes widened. "You mean they shot him?" Tears came to his eyes but both pilots knew that they would never show. His love for the exotic Arabian was nothing new to the Deathscythe pilot, but neither were Heero's emotions.  
  
"No, he didn't die in the cockpit, sorry. I wish he had though. Quatre was able to jump out of the cockpit but he was still falling when Sandrock was hit with the blast." Duo clasped his hands in front of him, nervous about having to be the one to explain. Trowa was in no way, shape or form to be the one and Duo knew Wufei would have been anal. And it was always better coming from your best friend. "The blast pushed him and he fell where there were a lot of rocks." Heero swallowed as he imagined Quatre's body fall onto a sharp rock. "His back broke in three different places and his head was cracked open, but what killed him was a broken neck." Duo whispered.  
  
Heero turned away from the braided Shinigami and stared at the white stuckle ceiling. He felt so empty, so powerless and he hated it. Quatre was dead. The beautiful, life loving deity was gone to never be seen again. "How's Trowa?" He wondered of the other boy who had also claimed a part of Heero's heart.  
  
Duo let a breath of air hiss through his teeth. "He's not too good. I mean, he just lost his life after all." Pilot 02 sighed and looked at Heero again. "Wufei's with him now. Trowa's being quieter than usual and no offence to Catherine, but she'd drive him insane."  
  
Heero snorted, agreeing. Though Catherine cared for her little brother very much she was ever persistent and became annoying really fast, especially since she had never liked Trowa's choice in lovers. "Can you tell him that I'm sorry? It should have been me." He shook his head.  
  
Duo growled. "Why? So I could be having this same conversation with Quatre?" He spat out angrily. The anger in the usually cheerful pilot surprised Heero and made him blink.  
  
Heero looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" He asked after a moment of thick silence. He studied Duo's face, looking for any hints at all to what the braided boy was thinking. But Duo was good at hiding the truth. He may have never lied, but he didn't always tell the truth.  
  
Duo's violet eyes went wide and he grinned. "Oops.did I say that?" He jumped up, "Well Hee-chan, I'll tell Trowa. Hope you get better soon. I'll be back later." Duo left the room, leaving a very confused Wing pilot.  
  
"What the hell was that about?" Heero mumbled before yawning. Figuring he'd get it out of Duo eventually he closed his eyes to sleep.  
  
***  
  
Trowa held Quatre tightly as the two sat under the moonlight, leaning against a tree that had been claimed theirs. "I know something's wrong Quatre. I wish you'd tell me." He whispered softly, kissing Quatre's neck gently. Quatre had been distant for a while and Trowa was becoming worried. "You know I'd understand." He said softly.  
  
Quatre shook his head. "You wouldn't understand Trowa, but it's nothing to worry about." He paused. "Do you think it's possible for one person to love two other people the exact same way? Like lovers?" He wondered.  
  
Trowa leaned back thoughtfully. "I suppose." He nodded, "Actually, yes I believe so." He said. "Quatre, there's something I want to tell you. You know I love you and I'm not breaking up with you, but there is someone else I love." He began.  
  
"Really?" Quatre asked, interested, "Who?" He was curious and completely calm.  
  
"Heero."  
  
Upon hearing the name Quatre went into a fit of giggles and when he felt Trowa shift slightly he knew he had to explain. "You know what's been bothering me? I fell for two guys and it seems that the one I'm with has fallen for the same one." He grinned.  
  
"Heero?" Trowa wondered, then sighed. "I don't know if he'd be interested." He confessed.  
  
Quatre nodded in agreement. Quietly the two sat together enjoying the company but wishing for a third.  
  
Heero opened his eyes as the memory of the dream escaped him. His lungs hurt, as if he'd been running hard and he could feel sweat running down the side of his face. A noise drew his attention to his side and his eyes went wide.  
  
"Relena?" He squinted through the dark, the light from the hallway was the only light in the room and it cast a shadow over Relena's form. "What are you doing here?" He asked as the Queen of the World took his hand gently. Heero got the idea and yanked it from her grasp. "Haven't you gotten the idea yet? Stop chasing me!" He growled.  
  
She smiled sadly. "Actually, I'm here to make funeral arrangements for Quatre. Both Duo and Trowa wanted me to do it instead of his sisters. His body would be a bunch of bones before they could agree on anything." She rolled her eyes. "But I heard you moaning as I was passing by and I thought you might have been in pain." Her voice was sincere.  
  
"A nightmare." Heero replied lamely. "What's going to happen at the funeral?" He asked, sliding his hand back into hers. "What are your plans?"  
  
"Well, it's an open casket. Nothing happened to his face and Duo told me that 'beauty shouldn't be hidden'. There will be blue and yellow roses." She said softly.  
  
"His eyes and hair." A tear fell from Heero's eye.  
  
Relena nodded slowly as she wiped away the tear. "Duo's giving the eulogy and four of the Maguanacs are the pallbearers. Did he and Trowa ever tell you Heero?" She was crying now and it surprised Heero slightly, though he didn't show it.  
  
"Tell me what?" He inquired softly as his own throat closed up on him. Something was telling him that he should know. There was a voice whispering in his ear but what it was saying and who it was, he couldn't tell. It was too soft, too distant, perhaps too weak.  
  
All the hope Relena had was gone. She slouched in the chair. "Never mine then, it wasn't important." She smiled through her tears. Heero knew it was important but he also knew that he couldn't make her tell him. She stood up, slowly pushing her chair away from her. She gently squeezed his hand. "I'd better get going. I still have to talk to some people about the coffin. Good bye Heero, I'll see you a little later and I hope you get better soon." She gently placed a kiss on his forehead then left the room, leaving the Wing pilot in the dark, in more than one way.  
  
  
  
TBC..  
  
~  
  
So what'd you think? 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Pairings for this chapter: 4+1 3+1  
  
Warnings for this chapter: A confused Heero.  
  
Notes: Does it make sense yet?  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Trowa opened his eyes to darkness. Wondering why he woke from such a peaceful dream he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around his lover. No, it was a pillow. "Quatre?" He whispered, finding the bed empty. He searched around the room until he spotted the dark silhouette, sitting by the window. "What are you doing?" He smiled softly as he got out of the bed and went over to the shadow.  
  
"I was watching you sleep." Quatre whispered as Trowa gathered him into his arms. They both sat in the moon light as they stared at the gloomy room. Quatre moved, looking up at the taller boy. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He said softly.  
  
"Don't worry little one. But why aren't you sleeping?" Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre's stomach as he rested his head on the boy's slender shoulder.  
  
Quatre leaned his head against Trowa's chest, relaxing into the comfortable hold and basking in the safety and love he always felt from the banged pilot. "Can't." He mumbled, his voice seeming insignificantly small in the room. "And I didn't want to disturb you, you looked like you were enjoying your dream."  
  
"Nightmares?" Trowa asked and Quatre nodded. "I don't mind if you wake me up. I don't like it when you suffer so." He squeezed the smaller pilot a little tighter. "Tell me, what were they about?" He wondered.  
  
"Heero." Quatre replied. "We asked him to join us. He always laughed at us then called us names. Horrible names and nasty, hurtful things." Trowa felt something warm land on his hand.  
  
"You know he'd never do or say anything like that. After all, he knows about Wufei and Duo and he and Duo are still great friends." Trowa's voice was soothing as he reassured his tiny lover. "And you know that what matters most to Heero is that we're here for him." He gently turned Quatre to face him and kissed the tears away.  
  
"I know you're right Trowa, but.I want him. I want him and him to want us." Quatre whispered, the want and need gathering in his words. They sat in silence then Quatre sighed and looked up at the Heavyarms pilot. He smiled when Trowa looked at him. "But I love you too and I'm the luckiest person in the universe to be with you." With that said, the two lovers embraced, whispering declarations of love.  
  
Heero's tear filled eyes shot opened as he painfully gasped for air, drawing it into his lungs as if he'd been deprived most of his life. His burning tears broke through his defenses and carelessly slid down his flushed cheeks. He swallowed the lump in his throat; sure it was his heart trying to run away.  
  
Once he recognized the room he calmed down and was only left with a few fleeting glimpses of the haunting dream. He forced himself back into control and stopped his tears and calmed his breathing. /I want to cry for you Quatre. I want to cry because I love you, and miss you. But I will not cry for you because you died with honor and respect./ He thought to himself.  
  
"Finally awake?" A voice startled the Wing pilot and Heero jumped slightly, jarring his body and causing pain to streak through his limps at break neck speed. "Careful." Heero looked up to find that his visitor was now Wufei.  
  
The Chinese pilot pulled the chair that Relena had sat in, and Duo before her. "It's nice to see that you're finally awake. We were worried that we'd have to plan for another funeral." He spoke calmly as he looked at the injured boy.  
  
Heero raised an eyebrow in question. "How long have I been asleep?" He wondered.  
  
"Three days." The answer surprised Heero. "There is an infection in your arm. You're on antibiotics to cure it but you slipped into a shallow coma because of the infection." Wufei sat unmoving.  
  
"Three days?" Heero rested his head on his pillow after trying to fix it. "I suppose that the funeral is already over?" He hoped that it wasn't.  
  
"Of course not." Wufei snorted. "Winner would have wanted you to be there and we will respect his wishes." He closed his eyes. "And I think that Trowa wants you there as well."  
  
Heero's heart throbbed at the mention of the pilot's name. "How is Trowa? Duo said that he wasn't doing well.but I don't know how long ago that was." He wondered.  
  
"Trowa's been placed in the room across from yours." Wufei replied. "You've been in here for about a week. Trowa hasn't eaten anything or drank anything since we intercepted a transmission from OZ saying that they had the Gundam Sandrock and that it was already destroyed." His eyes never left Heero's.  
  
"Did they have Quatre's body?" Heero wondered, Wufei nodded. "How.long has it been since the battle?" He asked.  
  
"Two months, perhaps I will tell you what you want to know after you rest. The funeral will be in two days, and if you want to go then you have to heal." Wufei stood up and bowed slightly. "Good day." With that the Shenlong pilot began to leave the room.  
  
"Wait!" Heero stopped him. Wufei stopped at the door and looked back. "Why does Trowa care if I go or not?" That whispering in his ears started up again but it was slightly louder and he could just about make it out.  
  
Wufei looked somewhat surprised. "You mean you don't know?" He shook his head sadly. "I really thought you knew." With that he was gone.  
  
Sighing to himself in frustration Heero settled back in his bed. "What should I know? What the hell did I miss that everyone else seems to get?" He demanded to the ceiling. When it didn't answer he slammed his good hand into the bed.  
  
***  
  
His hand was cold and the whispering was intense. Heero was forced from his fever-induced sleep and he protested with a moan. He lay quietly as he listened intently to the voices. They echoed through his mind like the wind in an empty cave, by a shore of a deserted beach.  
  
As his sense awaked he became aware of his surroundings, Heero realized that there was something cold in his hand. It felt like a human hand as it moved against his heated flesh. Heero supposed that almost anything against his burning skin would feel cold, but not this cold.  
  
It was almost a piercing cold, sitting right on the edge before it started to hurt. But in a way, it was comforting, though he wished the lack of heat on his forehead.  
  
As if reading his mind tentative slender fingers, as cold as death, gently slid through his hair, cooling his body at contact. He felt the soft digits gently brush away his bangs, then trace over his dry chapped lips. Heero tired to open his eyes but he couldn't find the energy.  
  
"Who are you?" He asked weakly. Once the words were spoken the voices became louder and the cold hands disappeared. "Wait! Please, I want to know." He whispered and suddenly the voices became one voice, one familiar voice. The words began to form meanings and Heero finally understood the repeated fraise.  
  
/You should already know./  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Pairings for this chapter: 3+1, 4+1, 1+4, 1+3  
  
Warnings for this chapter: None  
  
Notes: .  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Heero opened his eyes to see darkness. He was beginning to believe that the room had no windows and was always kept dark, or he kept waking at night. He shifted carefully to get more comfortable in the stiff hospital bed.  
  
"How are you feeling?" A soft voice spoke. It didn't startle Heero; it was as if he expected his visitor. But even then, he was surprised when Trowa's face appeared before him. But it wasn't Trowa. His skin was too pale, and his eyes were haunted and completely dull. /Quatre gave them life./ Heero realized as he looked back at his friend.  
  
"B.better." He stumbled slightly over his words as he noticed how dead the boy beside him looked. /Duo was right, you lost your life./ Heero swallowed. "I'm sorry Trowa. It's my fault Quatre's dead." He whispered as a tear fell from his eye.  
  
Trowa shook his head. "It wasn't your fault Heero. Quatre wanted to protect you and nothing would have been able to stop him." He spoke softly, taking Heero's hand.  
  
Heero looked at the Heavyarms pilot in silence before taking a slow breath. "Trowa, answer me truthfully." He began. "Why did Quatre protect me?" He whispered. Duo, Wufei and even Relena had known. What had Heero missed that was so important?  
  
Trowa smiled softly. "He loved you. He was in love with you." He finally confessed, then turned away, avoiding eye contact. "We both were. And we were both afraid to tell you or ask you to join because we, especially Quatre, were afraid that you'd reject us." He explained as tears fell from his eyes as he remembered his dead lover.  
  
Heero squeezed Trowa's hand as he cried for the dead. /I have a reason to cry for you now Quatre.my love, our love. We were both foolishly blind, that cost you your life./ "I loved.love him Trowa. You too." Heero whispered as tears cascaded down his cheeks. Trowa looked at him startled. Heero bit his lip. "I didn't say anything, I didn't want to come between you." He whispered.  
  
Trowa leaned forward in his chair and he stared at Heero's hand. "That's too bad. Quatre would have loved to have you cum between us." Trowa couldn't help but smile as he thought of the beautiful blonde boy. Then he cleared his throat. "Wufei said that you were curious about after the battle." He said.  
  
Heero shook his head. "I know it must hurt to talk about him, so don't." He insisted.  
  
But Trowa continued anyway. "It's alright. I want to tell you." His thumb gently caressed Heero's hand. Whether it was to comfort Heero or himself he didn't care. "It happened almost two months ago - the battle I mean. We didn't find out until about four days later. Duo was scanning OZ radio channels and we got the message. 'Gundam 04 has been destroyed. Pilot dead, body being transferred to OZ facilities.' They ran tests and took samples." Trowa's voice cracked.  
  
Heero squeezed his hand, trying to make him feel better. Trowa cleared his throat. "They at least looked after his body, probably figuring that this was a once in a life time opportunity. We got a mission. It took us a little more than a month before we were able to plan an attack, you were in a coma, anyway, one of us had to find the body while one got Sandrock. And the third destroyed all the evidence of the capture." He breathed.  
  
"Who had to get Quatre's body?" Heero asked quietly, afraid to harm the atmosphere in the room by talking too loudly. He already had a feeling of who had done what. Duo had destroyed the evidence because he wouldn't have left anything that could be used again. Wufei had gotten Sandrock because he could sneak in without being noticed. That left.  
  
"Me." Trowa swallowed as he remembered carrying the cold lifeless body. OZ had injected some kind of drug into Quatre's dead corpse to make him easier to handle. The drug prevented the body from becoming stiff and rotting. So the body Trowa had carried was limp and in almost perfect condition. "His eyes were open when I carried him from the base. I found myself expecting him to start talking to me."  
  
"You don't have to say anymore." Heero saw the pained look in Trowa's eyes. He felt the other boy trembling and knew that enough had been said. They sat in complete silence until Heero began to grow tired and he knew it was because of the antibiotics he was on.  
  
Trowa saw this as well. "You need sleep. The funeral is tomorrow." His voice was fading as Heero's mind shut down. The last thing he remembered was the feel of Trowa's hand in his own.  
  
***  
  
The dream had been confusing. Heero had gone through memories, what seemed like thousands of memories, all the while chasing after, and trying to catch a laughing blonde angel. Now he was standing the middle of a plush green clearing, surrounded on all sides by healthy trees and bushes. He knew he wasn't alone but there was no place for anyone to hide.  
  
He blinked and a boy was standing in front of him. He was wearing pale blue shorts and a shirt. His feet were bare and a smile brightened his face. "Quatre?" Heero whispered but couldn't remember speaking it.  
  
The boy giggled then ran away through the thick greenery around them. Heero ran after him, but as soon as he exited the bright clearing he found himself in a dark room. It was an OZ lab. Heero didn't even wonder why or how he knew it. But it wasn't important and he gave it no thought.  
  
A metal lab table sat in the middle of the room and was surrounded by OZ doctors and OZ officials. Heero looked around the empty room and spotted the small blonde standing beside the table looking down melancholy. Heero joined him and looked at the table where Quatre's body lay.  
  
The body was a clay color, except for the piercing aquamarine colors of the still open eyes. Heero stared at the eyes, willing the body to move, but it never did. One of the doctors administered a liquid into the body and then murmured to the other humans around him. They all nodded silently.  
  
Movement from beside him got Heero's attention and he looked to find Quatre looking at him with empty eyes. Heero gasped when he realized that Quatre was crying, but they weren't tears.  
  
He was crying blood.  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warnings for this chapter: None  
  
Notes: Sorry it's so short.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Heero opened his eyes and gasped for air as panic clutched his body in a painful grip. He remembered the dream, it was blurry in places but he couldn't shake the empty look in Quatre's usually expressive eyes.  
  
The Wing pilot had always marveled at the emotion that was always portrayed in the Sandrock pilot's eyes. It had always been easy to tell what he was feeling. Heero had realized after he had fallen in love that even though Quatre was empathetic, his own emotions were always easy to read. There was always something happening in those massive aquamarine eyes.  
  
Heero missed the peace and safety that he always felt whenever he'd glance into those shimmering pools or when Quatre would smile. Heero especially liked the shy smile that would gently grace Quatre's pale pink lips when someone would pay him a complement.  
  
And the blush that would slowly creep into his pale cheeks whenever Trowa would whisper something to him. Heero had always chuckled mentally when he witnessed this. He loved a lot about the small blonde, but one thing he loved the most was how innocent Quatre looked and acted. Heero knew that Quatre wasn't really innocent, far from it. He was a Gundam pilot for one thing, and Heero had once roomed beside the too lovers. No, definitely /not/ innocent.  
  
Heero sighed as the panic slowly seeped from his body, leaving him in a cold sweat. Feeling slowly came back to him and he realized that someone was still holding his hand. Figuring it was Trowa; probably asleep, he didn't find it odd. Since he didn't have the energy to move he just whispered. "You should go back to your room before the others find you out of bed."  
  
As soon as he had said the words he knew something wasn't right. It wasn't exactly wrong either but it was.different. And just as Heero registered that the room was much cooler and that the hand in his own was that same almost-painful cold, a voice spoke up.  
  
"He left a few hours ago Hee-chan." The soft voice sent chills down Heero's spine, so bad that he actually shivered. Heero forced his head up and his eyes went wide as he thought one word before he passed out from shock.  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warnings: none  
  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Heero moaned in protest as light invaded his closed eyes, pushing him into consciousness. Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking from the brightness in the room. Confused, Heero turned his head so he could look around the hospital room. To his surprise, it was full of people. Women, all blonde, the other pilots, Trowa's sister Catherine, Relena was there and with her stood Dorothy. A girl talking with Duo, Heero knew her as Hilde from a conversation with the braided Shinigami.  
  
Trowa was the first to notice that Heero was awake. Quietly the tallest pilot came to sit beside him. "How are you feeling?" Heero saw great concern in those dull green eyes as Trowa's hand slid into his own. "Your eyes seem lighter somehow.almost green." There was a slight pause but then Trowa shrugged it off.  
  
Heero looked at him. "I'm fine. Who are all these people?" He wondered softly, looking around the room. He spotted Sally come in and start talking to Wufei and Duo.  
  
"Quatre's sisters." Trowa replied. "His aunts and uncles and nieces, nephews, cousins and his father are in other rooms. This is only seven of Quatre's sisters. Hold on." Trowa got up and went over to one of the women. She seemed to be the calmest of them all and yet somehow Heero could sense that she felt the greatest lost.  
  
Suddenly something clicked in his memory as she approached him.  
  
--  
  
"Iria? Why is Father always mad at me?"  
  
"He's not mad at you Quatre. You just remind him of.your mother and it hurts him."  
  
"My mother? But you've always been my mother."  
  
"I know love, but I'm your big sister.hey, don't cry. Baby, I still love you."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course! Oh, sweetie, I'll always love you, you're my most favorite brother in the whole wide universe!"  
  
"Iria! I'm your /only/ brother!"  
  
--  
  
"So, you're Heero Yuy." A voice woke Heero from his thoughts. He looked up to find Quatre's sister sitting beside him. She smiled as Heero nodded. "He always had good choice in people." She said. "I'm Iria Winner."  
  
Heero didn't know what to say. Did this woman know that he had been the one at fault for her little brother's death? "I'm sorry about what happened." He finally whispered. "He had been protecting me.it's my fault he's d.gone." He looked at the sheet on his bed.  
  
A hand quickly covered his own, making Heero look up into eyes almost the same color as Quatre's. [1] "No, you mustn't think that. Quatre made that choice, you had nothing to do with it." Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and Heero wanted to hug her, to comfort her. "Please, don't let his death be in vain. He loved you very much and protected you because of that love." She whispered. "Promise me that his death wasn't in vain."  
  
Heero swallowed as a tear rolled from his eye. "I promise." He croaked and it made Iria happy.  
  
"Thank you." She whispered as she got up. Before leaving the room, she gently kissed Heero's forehead. Once the woman was gone everyone else disappeared as well. The only people who remained were the pilots and Sally.  
  
The doctor smiled at him. "When you sit up you'll feel dizzy, but it should only last a few seconds." She said gently. Heero nodded, then braced himself to sit up.  
  
Lights danced in front of his eyes as he closed them, not wanting to get sick. Once he was sitting up he felt himself leaning against something warm and comfortable. When he composed himself he looked up and saw that Trowa was the comfortable warmth.  
  
"Alright, let's go." Duo said.  
  
***  
  
Heero lay back in the hospital bed. The room was purposely cast in darkness and it had been since they had come back from the funeral. The funeral had been very elegant and Heero knew that Relena had tried her hardest. The ceremony had been held in Relena's estate and the entire room had been decorated with blue and yellow roses.  
  
It was an open casket, as she had said before and Heero had been surprised at how /normal/ the blonde boy looked. It was as if he were sleeping and the Wing pilot had half expected him to wake up. Quatre looked sophisticated in the black tux he had been dressed in, but Relena had made sure that little things had not been changed.  
  
His hair for one, looked like it always had. His father and half of his family had wanted it slicked back but Relena had been listening to Iria and Trowa's requests.  
  
Another thing was a picture had been placed in one of Quatre's pockets. It had been a picture of all five pilots together. It had been taken when they had all had some downtime and they had gone to visit the circus where Trowa hid most of the time.  
  
Next Heero noticed little things from each of the pilots. From Trowa was a ring, not an engagement ring of course, a promise ring. One symbolizing that their love would last forever, even if they were separated by death. To Heero's surprise he spotted a cross around Quatre's neck. He had looked at Duo questioningly, but the Deathscythe pilot had only smiled softly and shrugged.  
  
"I have nothing to give him." Heero had whispered to Trowa, the Heavyarms pilot had only shrugged.  
  
"You're alive, that's all he ever wanted." Trowa had replied, but still, it wasn't enough for Heero. So quickly, Heero had taken of a necklace he wore. On the end dangled a star shaped from Gundanium. /This is a part of Wing Quatre, and with it I give you my heart./ He had kissed the cool metal and had laid it carefully on Quatre's stilled chest, directly over his non- beating heart.  
  
Once the lid to the coffin was closed, Wufei had placed a figure of a crane on the closed lid. "The Chinese believe that the White Crane is an aerial transport of souls between this world and the next. We place a figure of the crane atop the coffin lid." Wufei explained and Heero nodded. [2]  
  
Duo had given the eulogy very well. He had focused everything on the good side and talked about happy memories. He had never once mentioned being a pilot or the war and Heero found that it made him feel a little better. At least until the service ended.  
  
After the service they had gone to the airport to see the Winners - /all/ of them off. Duo had been complaining under his breath. Apparently Quatre had wanted to be cremated, but his father had wanted him buried. Not only that but Quatre had wanted his ashes spread out over the Earth. His father wanted him buried in the Winner family plot on the L4 colony.  
  
"A tool to the end." Duo had said.  
  
Now Heero lay reliving the day over in his mind. He still couldn't believe that Quatre was dead. Sure, he had seen the body, but it /had/ to be some kind of weird, sick joke. "It has to be." He whispered. "You can't be gone Quatre, you just can't be dead." Heero whispered into the darkness.  
  
He jumped when he heard a reply. "I /am/ dead Heero, but I'm not gone."  
  
TBC.  
  
~  
  
[1] I don't know much about Iria and if her eye color is wrong, sorry.  
  
[2] The White Crane - this is true.  
  
Other notes: I know Quatre didn't know that he had a mother.TWT? That goes for his father being dead too. 


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warnings: none  
  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
Heero shot up in his bed and looked around the pitch-blackness of the room. "Quatre? I know that was you." He said aloud but got no reply. Heero growled as tears came to his eyes. "Listen Winner, I never asked you to die for me!" He hissed, angry because of the silence.  
  
"I never asked to love you." Came the soft voice. "But I did anyway, unconditionally." As Heero watched a baby blue light formed beside his bed, just above the chair sitting on the floor. Soon as Heero watched the sparkle spread out into a body of pale blue.  
  
Heero stared at the body with his mouth open. The tears finally fell from his eyes as he took in the wonder before him. Quatre sparkled in a blaze of pale blue glory. Finally, Heero blinked coming out of his daze. "Quatre.how." He began but couldn't find any words to say to the apparition of his dead friend.  
  
The spirit only smiled. "I didn't want to leave yet." He replied. "I guess that you could say that I have some unfinished business to do, but that's a bit cliché." He shrugged.  
  
/I'm dreaming again, they all seemed so real./ Heero decided but he saw Quatre shake his head, his blue hair brushing against his face. "This isn't a dream Hee-chan. It's real." Quatre insisted gently. "The other dreams were real too.they were my memories." He said, taking Heero's hand.  
  
Heero gasped at the coldness but he didn't pull away. It was the same almost burning cold he had felt before. Heero's eyes snapped away from his hand and he looked into Quatre's eyes. "You.you were here with me.before." He whispered softly, studying the image before him. Quatre only smiled and nodded. "How long have you been here?" Heero wondered.  
  
"As long as you have been." Quatre replied. "I've never left /you/.I've been with you from the very beginning.or end I guess. Every since I died." Quatre shrugged. "I.didn't want to leave you yet."  
  
Heero thought of these words for a few minutes, then he sighed. "If you've never left, then where have you been?" He asked softly.  
  
Quatre bit his lip. "I kind of.possessed you. You didn't know and I didn't do anything to let you know." He said sheepishly and he blushed a dark blue. "I thought something was going to happen, to give me away. But the only thing that was barely obvious was your eyes." He smiled.  
  
Heero was confused. "What do you mean my eyes?" He voiced his confusion.  
  
"Before you met my sister Iria." Quatre began to explain. "Trowa said that your eyes were lighter, at least seemed lighter. Almost-"  
  
"Green." Heero finished, then looked into Quatre's eyes. He hadn't noticed before, but while the rest of Quatre's body was blue his eyes had remained their usual bright color. "Or aquamarine." Heero concluded. Quatre smiled but Heero sighed. "Why don't you leave? I mean, I know you don't /want/ to but that means you want to do something."  
  
Quatre nodded. "I want you to take two missions for me." He fidgeted. "One is important and one is not so important. But.while I'm here I don't want to waste my time Heero." The small blue haired blonde was blushing, this made Heero curious. "Um.I know that it's selfish of me, but.I want a chance to.love you." He wouldn't look up and stared at Heero's flesh colored hand and noticed how it contrasted with his pale blue.  
  
"It's not selfish." Heero quietly insisted, making Quatre look up at him. This time Heero blushed. "I'm glad that you want that chance.I want that chance with.you." He whispered and before Quatre's laugh could register in Heero's ears he had arms around his neck in an excited hug. He had expected it to hurt, but it didn't.  
  
Heero looked beside him at the blue blonde. Quatre had knocked both of them onto the bed. The deceased Sandrock pilot smiled softly. "Go to sleep Heero. I know you're tired." He gently wiped Heero's damp bangs away. "You have a fever again." He whispered, concerned.  
  
But Heero shook his head. "I don't want to sleep." He whispered, not caring if he sounded like a child.  
  
Quatre kissed his forehead, his lips as cold as ice sending a shiver of relief through Heero's body. "What are you afraid of?" He whispered, tucking a piece of Heero's hair behind his ear. "Are you afraid that I won't be here when you wake up?" He asked. Heero nodded tiredly. "Don't be afraid of that. I'll be here, I promise. Now sleep." Quatre whispered.  
  
Heero could no longer keep his eyes open so he didn't argue.  
  
***  
  
Heero opened his eyes. He had slept soundly and for once, he had had no dreams. /Wait, was Quatre just a dream? He said he'd be here./ The Wing pilot looked around the room but he was alone. He sighed and leaned against the pillow.  
  
I am here, as I promised. You used to trust me. Quatre's voice echoed through Heero's head.  
  
"You're in my head?" Heero asked, a little surprised at first, then remembered that that's where Quatre had been since his death. Now that Heero knew where his friend was, he could feel the difference. He felt almost.weird.  
  
Sorry, you'll be able to feel what other people are feeling. While you were hurt I blocked it off so you could rest. It is rather distracting. And you don't have to talk out loud to speak to me. I /am/ in your head after all, but I can't read your thoughts unless you think directly to me or I pry.   
  
Heero trusted Quatre not to pry. He sighed and closed his eyes to rest but he was surprised to see Quatre before his closed lids. The small blonde, and he was blonde again, was sitting in a corner of a black room. The boy had his knees up to his face and his head resting on his knees. "Quatre?" He whispered.  
  
The boy looked up and smiled. "I'll be here whenever you want to see me." Heero nodded and was about to say something but was interrupted by a voice.  
  
Heero opened his eyes and looked up at Duo. Duo smiled slowly and Heero realized that it didn't meet his eyes, in fact, it hadn't since Heero had woken up from his coma. /Probably Quatre's death./ He realized, but a part of him wished that Duo would break down and cry, just like the Wing pilot knew he wanted to do.  
  
Crying isn't Duo's way. He hides things by smiling and laughing. Can't you feel his pain? Quatre said softly. Heero checked his body and found a slight numbing pain in his chest. That's only part of what Duo is feeling.   
  
"You had us worried again last night." Duo said. Heero looked at him in confusion. Duo laughed, but it was fake and forced. "You had a fever, then woke up and started talking to yourself. Something about 'I never asked you to die for me.' Well, something like that." The black clad pilot shrugged.  
  
Heero was confused at first, then he remembered saying those words. He almost laughed. He hadn't been talking to himself; he had been talking to Quatre. "I was talking to-"  
  
No! Quatre shouted, causing Heero to cringe. Don't tell him about me. Nobody but you can see me, they don't know that I'm here and how many of them do you think would believe you? You've been suffering from extremely high fevers, they'd think you had hallucinated or dreamt me up. All the while Quatre talked, Duo was fussing over Heero after seeing him flinch.  
  
"I'm fine Duo." Heero tried to sound reassuring. "I just have a bit of a headache." He felt the panic that seemed to throb around the Deathscythe pilot slowly diminish until it was nothing. "As I was asking. I was talking to myself?" Heero heard Quatre sigh of relief.  
  
Duo smiled. "Yeah! I mean you were sitting up and talking to the chair like there was someone in it. Most of the time you were talking quietly, so we didn't hear everything." Duo shrugged. "Wu was with me and we were with Trowa."  
  
Heero nodded as he relaxed against the pillows. They were silent for a few minutes, then Heero spoke. "When can I get out?" He wondered. The small room was comfortable but it was also confining.  
  
"Well, if you want, Wufei and I were going to take Trowa out for a while. Nobody thinks that he should be alone right now.he's not completely stable and we don't want him to try anything." Duo shrugged. "There's a big park just behind this facility. We were planning a sort of picnic. That sound good?" He asked.  
  
"Sounds fine." Heero nodded, ignoring the Arabic language echoing in his mind. "Just come get me whenever you want."  
  
"Cool, we will probably kidnap you guys in an hour. I'm going to go now so you can rest. You'll probably want some." Duo grinned. "See ya later Heero!" The pilot bounded out of the room.  
  
Heero sighed and closed his eyes, he found Quatre lying on his back staring up at the black nothingness. Heero could sense the sadness radiating off the beautiful ghost. Slowly, Heero 'walked' over to him and lay beside him. "What are you doing?" He wondered softly.  
  
Quatre sighed and slid his hand into Heero's. It was warm this time, the temperature of living flesh. "I'm thinking about Trowa." He whispered. "They don't realize that he's too smart to hurt himself. He /is/ stable. He loves you very much and he wouldn't leave you just for me." The boy shook his head and turned to look at Heero. "Maybe if both of us had been killed."  
  
Heero sighed. "I wish I had known." He mumbled as he turned and stared up at the blackness hanging above them. It was too dark, too depressing. The Wing pilot pictured a blue sky with fluffy cotton clouds. Slowly, it appeared before him and he gasped.  
  
Quatre giggled softly. "We're in your subconscious, even though you aren't asleep. You can make anything happen here." He explained.  
  
"Really?" Heero wondered, then pictured another scene. Slowly it appeared before them. Quatre was surprised and sat up really fast, rocking the boat. This time Heero chuckled. "Never been on a boat before?" He asked patiently.  
  
"No." Quatre shook his head as he sat back down. After a minute of silence he smiled. "It's peaceful." He lay back beside Heero, this time he cuddled up to Heero's side, resting his head on the other boy's shoulder.  
  
Heero couldn't help blushing as Quatre sighed contently. Slowly, the normally detached pilot relaxed and wrapped his arm around Quatre's back, separating their hands. After a while of silence Quatre spoke again.  
  
"Heero? When we get back from the park.will you make love to me?"  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
"Thanks for letting me come with you guys. I'll leave once I find the girls and you boys can have fun on your own." Catherine smiled softly.  
  
"We could probably make it a group thing." Duo shrugged as he walked with Wufei, hand in hand. They all walked along a dirt path through the beautiful park. The birds were singing and it was perfectly warm. But Trowa didn't notice.  
  
The silent Heavyarms pilot stared blindly as he walked down the path. He wanted to be alone so he could mourn Quatre's death the way he wanted and need to. He didn't want to be walking alone without his lover.  
  
Heero could feel his loneliness as it surrounded the pale pilot's heart. He wanted to help Trowa but didn't know how. The Wing pilot sighed deeply as he watched Trowa kick at the gravel beneath his feet.  
  
I wish I could touch him. He heard Quatre say softly. Heero closed his eyes to see what the small boy was doing. They were still in the boat. Quatre was leaning against the side of the wood with his hand dipping into the crystal clear water.  
  
"Hey Heero! Watch where you're going!" Duo's voice woke Heero and made him open his eyes. He looked around when he didn't find his friends. When he heard Duo's laughter Heero turned around to find that everyone else had turned down a different path. They stood waiting for him.  
  
Sorry. Quatre spoke.  
  
"Don't be." Heero mumbled as he walked across the grass to join his friends. "Sorry.guess I spaced out." He shrugged sheepishly once he was standing in front of them.  
  
A hand on his shoulder made him look up, Duo jumped back startled. "Wow.your eyes." He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Now let's go eat some lunch!" Duo grabbed Heero's hand and began to run, not too fast though, since Heero was still healing.  
  
As they ran passed Trowa, Heero was startled when his hand shot out and grabbed the other boy's, pulling him along with them.  
  
/What was that?/ Heero growled mentally, knowing that Quatre could hear him. It wasn't that he was angry, more of surprised. But Heero felt something from Trowa, happiness perhaps. It wasn't strong enough for Heero to know for sure.  
  
I needed to. Was all Quatre said. It was all Heero need to hear to understand so he let it drop.  
  
"Hey guys." Relena smiled as the three boys topped running. "Where are Catherine and Wufei?" She wondered as the four walked toward Hilde and Dorothy. Heero noticed a couple of Quatre's sisters with them and for a moment he looked for Iria. She wasn't there and Heero couldn't help but feel disappointed.  
  
"We're right here." Catherine's voice came from behind them. They all turned as Wufei and the circus performer walked up. Catherine smiled as she looked at Heero's hand, which was still holding Trowa's. Heero realized this and blushed but his hand wouldn't let go. Trowa felt content and Heero wanted to keep it that way.  
  
"Wonderful! Let's have lunch." One of Quatre's sisters spoke. She seemed too perky a day after her little brother's funeral and Heero was feeling something strange from her. A memory clicked in his head against, just like it had with Iria.  
  
--  
  
"What the hell you little brat!"  
  
"I'm sorry Candice.it got away from me."  
  
"Take your damned ball and go back and cry to Iria because I don't want to hear any of it."  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
--  
  
She hated me. Quatre mumbled from the boat. The sky had changed, allowing him to watch his memory. It doesn't surprise me that she doesn't care.   
  
Anger flared up in Heero's chest, but it didn't all belong to him. He felt Trowa's hand begin to shake in his own and he looked up at the green eyed pilot. Trowa glared at the ground until he looked up and glared at the blonde woman.  
  
"Your little brother died." His voice was dangerously low. "I cannot understand how /any/ one could be so disrespectful. He was fighting to protect you, but you know, you aren't worth it." With that Trowa let go of Heero's hand and walked away.  
  
Duo blinked. "So much for a group thing." He sighed as he looked at Heero. "Well? You gonna just stand there and look pretty or are you going to go after him?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly, but there was still a smirk on his face.  
  
"Why me?" Heero asked, ignoring Quatre's growl about 'stupid blind bakas'.  
  
Duo grinned. "Well, you were holdin' his hand and frankly you're the only one he'll talk to now that." He tried to cover his pain with a smiled. "Just go Heero!" He gently pushed his friend in the direction that Trowa had gone.  
  
"Alright." Heero replied as he left the group to look for the grieving boy. After a quick but thorough search of the grounds Heero came up empty. He grew tired and knew that there were places yet to be searched. "Hey, you know Trowa better than anyone. Where is he?" The exhausted Wing pilot panted.  
  
I wondered how long it was going to take for you to ask me. Quatre sounded amused. Heero growled. Okay, okay. Um.he's pissed off pretty bad.is there someplace with a lot of bushes, or trees and no people?   
  
Heero looked around. "Negative."  
  
Quatre sighed. Trowa's not a mission Heero. He needs you to act human. Now, is there a fountain or anything? He wondered.  
  
Heero looked around, "Affirmative." He caught himself. "I mean yeah." He slowly made his way toward the large fountain. The circular pool was plain but comfortable and the statue in the center almost brought a smile to Heero's face. A cherub with small wings outstretched and a trumpet held to his lips watched over the lush garden. Water spouted from the end of the trumpet, cascading down in a gentle arc into the pool below.  
  
The soldier hadn't noticed that he was standing by a bench where the Heavyarms pilot sat. That is until Quatre yelled at him to get his attention. /How'd you know? Can you see him?/ Heero asked mentally.  
  
No, I can /feel/ him. I can only see what you show me. Came Quatre's reply. Just sit with him. He doesn't need you to talk. Heero sat down beside Trowa on the bench and remained silent. He felt a kind of peace fall around his heart, and knew that that's what Trowa was feeling. Thank you. Quatre whispered then grew silent, letting the two boys enjoy their peace.  
  
TBC.  
  
~  
  
  
  
Notes: I know Candice isn't very Arabic, but I don't know any names, sorry! 


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
Warnings: A bad lime leading to a bad lemon.  
  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
His room was quiet, something that was comforting. Heero sighed as he stared up at the darkened white ceiling. His mind ran over the day's events. After he had found Trowa they had sat in companionable silence. Finally, when it had grown late Trowa had suggested that they go in, they were both still healing after all.  
  
The two boys had retired to their rooms but before they had separated, Trowa had stopped Heero. "Thank you." He had said. Heero had been surprised to see tears forming in Trowa's dull eyes. "Quatre used to sit with me and." He had wanted to say something but had shaken it off and instead had offered Heero another quiet "Thank you." Then the Heavyarms pilot had kissed Heero's cheek and left the stunned Wing pilot standing alone in the hallway.  
  
Unconsciously Heero ran his fingertips over the spot where Trowa's lips had graced his skin, curious as to how they would feel against his own. Quatre giggled, waking Heero from his daze. And people say you're emotionless.   
  
Heero smiled and drew the blankets up so he could sleep comfortably. Yawning slightly, he closed his eyes. Quatre greeted him with a lazy smile as they drifted in the small wooden craft. "You've been on this boat the entire time?" Heero sounded surprised.  
  
"Of course, only you can change the picture." The blonde spirit shrugged carelessly as he dipped his slender hand into the water.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Heero questioned, "I could have at least pictured something comfortable.like a music room of some sorts." He began but Quatre shook his head.  
  
"I liked it out here. It was peaceful and relaxing, and it gave me a chance to think." Quatre looked down at the wood. "Besides, being in a music room and playing just wouldn't be the same without." He shook his head. "Well, you know."  
  
Heero sensed his friend's pain more than he felt it and he suddenly remembered the kiss. "I'm sorry Quatre, I didn't mean-" He was effectively silenced by Quatre's lips against his own. Heero's eyes closed at contact and he could only follow Quatre's gentle demands. His body complied automatically to the feel of Quatre's tongue across his bottom lip before his mind could even process the information.  
  
Quatre's tongue invaded Heero's mouth and together, the two warred back and forth in a dance of desire. Heero had never tasted anything like Quatre before. A hint of spice and warmth that reminded him of the sunlight, the Wing pilot found that he couldn't get enough.  
  
But all good things had to come to an end and slowly Quatre reluctantly pulled away as the need for air became important. "Wow." Was the only world Heero could muster, then, "Why does breathing matter? Technically this is a dream and you're." He stopped himself.  
  
Quatre offered a small smile. "Dead? I'm not in your dreams and your dreams are real." He replied.  
  
Heero nodded. "I understand." His voice quivered. "I've.never done this.with a guy before." He swallowed nervously.  
  
Quatre smiled gently. "I didn't think so. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." He shrugged shyly, moving to the other side of the boat and leaning against it. He dipped his fingers into the water again then brought his hand back and flicked droplets at Heero.  
  
A water fight broke out between the two and when it stopped they were both soaking wet. Heero glared playfully at the laughing Sandrock pilot, believing for just one moment that the boy was truly alive. The sound of his laughter brought joy and life to Heero's cold heart, surely such music was not dead.  
  
Upon seeing the golden haired pilot leaning back and totally relaxed, Heero took it to his advantage and he quickly leaned over the smaller body and stole a kiss before the boy could react. Quatre smiled up at him and Heero leaned forward again. Quatre sank into the kiss and responded fully to every caress and touch. "Are you sure?" He whimpered as Heero attacked his neck with feather light kisses.  
  
"I'm sure." Heero replied as he breathed in the scent that seemed to surround Quatre. A fresh spring breeze and baby powder mixed with some kind of dull spice. Quatre's pale skin was soft under Heero's lips and his moans were delightful.  
  
"Heero." Quatre murmured softly. "Show me your fantasies." He whispered as Heero drew back slightly so he could look into Quatre's eyes. He was relieved to see the life shining in them.  
  
Silently Heero nodded as he imagined one of his fantasies. The boat docked gently and the two boys looked up at the looming castle before them. Heero blinked, then looked at Quatre. The blonde was wearing white clothes that had been torn. /Slave clothes./ Heero realized and blushed when Quatre looked at him.  
  
The slave boy smiled. "I serve to please you, your majesty." His eyebrows quirked suggestively, making Heero shiver slightly at the thought. Looking down at his own body so he could avoid Quatre's gaze Heero realized that he was wearing a very dressy shirt and necklace that marked him as royalty.  
  
"This wasn't the dream I wanted, I'm sorry." Heero said as he motioned to Quatre's clothes.  
  
The slave only shrugged. "Just like role playing. Don't think I haven't played the slave before." He crawled out of the boat and helped Heero out, bowing as Heero's feet touched the ground.  
  
The Wing pilot led the way up to the stone castle. Almost silently the drawbridge lowered, creating a low rumble until the wooden plank had settled over the mote. Wordlessly the dark-haired pilot walked across and into the castle. Soldiers, perhaps the unknown king's arms stood at attention as the prince passed.  
  
Once inside the main hall Heero turned to his slave and took his hand. Together the two ran to what Heero knew was the prince's chamber. The room was monstrous and decorated as a midevil Scottish castle. The bed was rather large, probably being able to hold about ten people. The fabrics were of emerald green and aquamarine but Quatre noticed hints of violet and onyx as well.  
  
The blonde boy smiled softly then turned to his prince. "What do you wish of me master?" He asked, almost purred.  
  
Heero drew in a breath. "Sit down, I have to explain about this.dream." He said and Quatre obeyed, sitting on the end of the bed. "Quatre, I don't know why I brought you here. This isn't one of my fantasies, it's one of my nightmares." Heero looked away.  
  
"Heero?" Quatre questioned quietly and a gentle hand was placed on his arm.  
  
Heero didn't move. "I dreamt this when I was captured by OZ, but the roles were reversed. You were the prince and I was the salve. I was kept locked in the dungeon all the time and I only heard the guards talk about the prince." He took a breath. "Again, I don't know why I brought you here."  
  
Quatre sighed and Heero felt himself being pulled onto the bed. Once he was comfortably on his back he looked up at Quatre. "It doesn't matter why you brought me here. Maybe it's just because you wanted a chance to be the prince. We're here now." He shrugged. "But if you don't want to do anything then you don't have to." The boy flopped back beside Heero and stretched out his limbs, getting comfortable in the soft bed.  
  
Heero looked at his friend and smiled softly to himself at how beautiful this angel was. "It does feel weird.you were Trowa's lover for so long that." Heero shrugged. "I guess I will always think of you a Trowa's lover." He sighed as he rolled onto his side, resting his head on Quatre's shoulder.  
  
The blonde relaxed as Heero's fingertips caressed his stomach. "I'm not Trowa's lover anymore Heero. But I understand how you feel. Your honesty is something I've always admired about you." Quatre kissed the top of Heero's head, then gently began to run his fingers through the dark hair. "No matter how blunt you put it." He mumbled and made Heero smile.  
  
They were quiet for a while, enjoying the company of the other. Finally Heero moved, sitting up slightly before leaning over Quatre and capturing his lips. "Are you sure?" The blonde slave whispered, looking up at his prince questioningly.  
  
Heero nodded as he slipped one of his hands up the side of Quatre's ripped shirt. "But I don't want you to be a slave, I only want you to be you." He whispered.  
  
Quatre smiled.  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: Yeah they're mine.okay, they aren't.  
  
Warning: Here's the bad lemon.  
  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
Clothes quickly made a pile on the floor as passion drove the boys to new heights of needs and wants. Heero leaned into Quatre's touch as Quatre withered in his. The feeling was completely surreal. Heero could see Quatre but his memories reminded him that the other boy was dead. The thought made him pause for a slight moment in time but was encouraged to move again when Quatre moaned.  
  
Heero leaned forward and captured Quatre's lips in a hard kiss. He wanted some reassurance that what he was doing and all that he felt were real. Quatre felt pleasurably solid and warm as Heero's tongue quested passed swollen lips, entering heaven. His hands roamed, caressing Quatre's chest gently. As his thumb brushed a sensitive nipple Quatre moaned unintelligently and arched into the touch.  
  
Heero kissed a path down the boy's neck and chest, stopping to suck the opposite nub into his mouth. Quatre whimpered as his fingers found Heero's head, entwining with the dark strands gently, lovingly.  
  
Smiling mentally to himself Heero nipped soft skin carefully, making a path down Quatre's abdomen. When Heero had reached his destination he looked up, whether he was asking permission or checking to see if it really was Quatre, he didn't know. Either way the blonde was looking back at him, his face flushed and his breathing ragged. The blonde boy shook his head. "Don't ask permission, this is /your/ dream." His voice was soft and Heero hadn't seen his lips move.  
  
Nonetheless he listened and leaned forward, taking Quatre's semi-hard arousal into his mouth. Heero felt the small body beneath his tense slightly then relax. Quatre's skin tasted like vanilla and cinnamon, that dull spice from before. /Not a spice, a flavor./ Heero noted as he used the end of his tongue to tease the tip of Quatre's cock.  
  
"Heero." Quatre whimpered as he arched off the bed, wanting, needing and craving more contact. "Mm, don't tease." He whispered breathlessly. Heero slightly raised an eyebrow at the request then plunged down upon Quatre's throbbing flesh. Quatre cried out as he sat up. One hand shot back to catch him before he fell back again. His other hand snaked up and he tangled his fingers in Heero's hair again.  
  
The Wing pilot slid his tongue along the underside of Quatre's length as he gently grazed the base with his teeth. Quatre's body jerked as a moan echoed throughout the chamber. The hand in his hair tightened a bit then relaxed. Heero brought Quatre to the brink of release, then he drew back, away from the quivering body.  
  
Heero sat back where he was between Quatre's sweat dampened legs and he just watched, studied the figure laying spread out before him. He noted the way Quatre's pink tongue ran over the soft bruised lips lightly. How those lips were parted as the boy breathed heavily. Sweat had caused Quatre's light hair to stick to his forehead and there was a light blush spread over the boy's entire body. But Heero's favorite thing was the way Quatre's eyes remained almost closed, so only a glimpse of aquamarine could be seen.  
  
"You.are.evil." Quatre panted as he mockingly glared at the dark-haired boy above him.  
  
Heero smirked. "You're sweet for saying so." He said, which caused Quatre to snort. Then Heero became serious. "How do we do this? I want to take you but I don't want to hurt you. Or would you rather take me?" Blue eyes searched aquamarine questioningly.  
  
Quatre sat up slightly. "Do what you want to do." He shrugged. "You won't hurt me, I promise." Then his voice changed slightly, and if Heero hadn't been so well trained he would have missed it. "You've never been taken.I think you should keep that and give it to someone who is special to you." He looked down at the bed.  
  
"But you-" Heero was cut off by Quatre's lips.  
  
Slowly the Sandrock pilot pulled away and he smiled sadly. "You didn't think that I'd always be here did you? As you said Heero, I am dead. Nothing can ever change that and nothing ever will." Heero watched as a single tear traveled down Quatre's cheek.  
  
Gently, Heero held Quatre's chin and turned the blonde's head so they were looking at each other. Heero smiled tenderly. "I'm sorry." He whispered kissing Quatre's nose. "I keep bringing up the fact and reminding you. I never even thought of what it was like for you." He kissed the tear away. "I'm sorry." He held Quatre in his arms.  
  
Quatre smiled softly as he kissed Heero's neck and shoulder, basking in the idyllic sensation of being this close to the boy he had loved for so long. "You are kind to say that but it's alright." He pulled away slightly as he took both of Heero's hands into his own, locking their fingers. "Knowing that you know that I love you makes it worth it. And knowing how you feel about me is even better." The blonde placed tender kisses in both of Heero's palms before looking up at the silent boy with bright eyes. "Show me how much you love me?" He whispered softly.  
  
At that point, 'no' was no longer a work in Heero's vocabulary. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Quatre's. The kiss was slow and tender but left both boys breathless and craving more. Knowing what they both wanted, Heero pulled away to get off the bed. He had only placed one foot on the cool marble floor when Quatre pulled him back. Heero lost his balance and fell back on the bed with Quatre beneath him.  
  
"We don't need lubricant, this is your dream." Quatre explained when Heero had begun to ask. It made sense once Heero stopped to think about it. He'd never taken the time out before.  
  
Looking down at Quatre he nodded, as Heero sat up Quatre wrapped slender legs around Heero's waist. Taking this as a signal, Heero gently pushed himself into the willing body. The tight heat surrounding him seemed to burn him to the very core of his heart and he was sure that if he moved he would climax.  
  
Slowly, Heero pulled himself together and opened his eyes. Quatre stared up at him innocently. The same way a child in awe would study something that they had never seen before. A peace of some sort fell around them, blanketing each precious moment. Looking into Quatre's eyes was like looking into his very soul. They were as clear as glass and seemed to reflect Heero's own longing and desire.  
  
"Take me." Quatre finally whispered, his voice almost too quiet to hear. Heero shifted as he leaned down, claiming Quatre's mouth. They moved together as if in some kind of dance, moans and whispered instead of music.  
  
Heero knew that Quatre wasn't going to last much longer by the pitch of his moans and the contracting muscles around Heero's flesh. Somehow, Heero knew that Quatre was trying to prolong his own pleasure as long as possible for Heero. With that thought Heero wanted to watch Quatre as the angel came. He leaned over the blonde and braced himself on shaking arms as he thrust forward again. Quatre's eyes opened and they bore deep into Heero's.  
  
"Come for me Quatre."  
  
The husky command was enough. Quatre arched off the bed and cried out his release as he threw his head back. The movement sent Heero over the edge and he filled the ghostly pilot with his life.  
  
Once he had caught his breath he opened his eyes and took in the sight before him. Quatre seemed to glow and it wasn't from the fine lair of sweat that coated his slender form. "Absolutely beautiful." Heero murmured as his heartbeat slowed a little. "Even after something like that you are still as innocent as ever.maybe even more." He whispered making Quatre smile and shake his head.  
  
Carefully, even though it was a dream, Heero pulled himself from Quatre's haven. He crawled up and lay beside the other pilot, tenderly pulling Quatre into his embrace. Quatre rested his head against Heero's chest. "Thank you." He whispered before falling asleep.  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: Not mine. *pouts*  
  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
"Wake up." A soft voice whispered as something touched his cheek. He mumbled incoherently and rolled over. "Do I have to pounce on you like Duo always did?" The voice teased. Heero smiled upon recognizing it. "Okay, fine Mr. Perfect Soldier, deny me from watching you sleep."  
  
Heero groaned and rolled back over. "You can only watch me sleep if I'm actually sleeping." He opened his eyes and looked at the blonde sitting up in the bed. Heero noted the lack of clothing the boy was experiencing before wrapping an arm around the thin waist. He pulled Quatre down across the bed and lay on him, pinning the slightly startled boy beneath him. "Now shut up so I can sleep." He mumbled.  
  
"And here I was thinking you wanted to make love again." Quatre gently caressed Heero's bare back.  
  
"Later." Heero grumbled. The room fell into a silence and he knew he'd never fall back to sleep. "You evil imp!" He growled teasingly as he looked up at Quatre to find the boy grinning. "Alright, I'm awake." He sighed.  
  
Quatre kissed Heero's nose. "You're incredibly adorable when you just wake up." He grinned again.  
  
Heero rolled his eyes as he grabbed the multi-colored blanket and covered both him and Quatre in it. The Japanese youth would have been satisfied with just cuddling for the rest of the day. But he knew that there was something on the other boy's mind. "Okay, spill it." Heero pulled away from Quatre's shoulder to look the other boy in the eyes.  
  
Quatre sighed and bit his lip. "Those missions I wanted you to take for me." He trailed off.  
  
"What about them?" Heero wondered, "What are they?"  
  
"Well, the first one has to happen soon.I want you, along with the other pilots to fly to L4 and bring my body back to Earth." A distant look overcame Quatre's eyes. "The drug that Oz injected me with is preventing my body from decomposing and I wanted to be cremated anyway."  
  
Heero nodded, "So you want me to take Duo, Wufei and Trowa to L4 to rob your grave, bring back your body and then cremate you." He ran through the plan. Quatre nodded quietly. "Do you think it's wise to take Trowa? He's weaker than I am right now and how am I going to explain the reason behind this plan if anyone asks." He asked.  
  
"Trowa will be fine. Remind them that I wanted to be cremated in the first place." Quatre said quietly.  
  
"And what about your father? I'm sure he'd notice that his son's grave was dug up and the body's missing."  
  
"Talk to Iria. I know that she will help you. Please Heero." Quatre whispered.  
  
Heero kissed him firmly. "You have no reason to beg. If the other pilots wouldn't go then I would do it on my own. I would do anything for you." He said softly. "Now, what of this other mission?"  
  
Quatre smiled, "Don't worry about it for now."  
  
They were silent again and Heero was just about to fall asleep again when a voice asked him to wake up. "Damn it." He mumbled, sitting up in the bed. He turned back to Quatre and was about to say something but the blonde stopped him.  
  
"I'll wait for you." He whispered softly.  
  
Heero nodded then opened his eyes, blinking at the brightness in the room. "Hello Sally." He mumbled.  
  
The doctor smiled. "Good afternoon Heero. You've got some visitors here and it's time for your medication." She handed him a cup containing pills and a glass of water as he sat up.  
  
Heero threw back his head, swallowing the pills with out the water. "Who's here?" He wondered before gulping the water.  
  
"Just the others." Sally smiled as she took the empty glass and container. Heero looked up to find her studying his face. "Duo wasn't kidding around. Your eyes are different. Here, I think I have a mirror." She left the room for a few minutes then came back and handed Heero a small mirror.  
  
Sure enough, his eyes were no longer cobalt blue; almost so dark they looked black. They had lightened so much that they looked almost baby blue, but they were more of a green. "Weird." He whispered for Sally's benefit, then he shook himself. "Where are the others?"  
  
The doctor took the mirror. "I'll send them in." She promised then left.  
  
Heero waited quietly until the door opened. He looked up as Duo came in, followed by the others. /I'll have to talk to them about Quatre's mission./ He remembered.  
  
The Deathscythe pilot jumped onto the end of the bed. "How ya feeling Hee- chan?" He asked. Heero remembered the way Quatre had said that nickname and he decided that he liked hearing it from the blonde better.  
  
"Better Duo." Heero nodded as Trowa sat down in the chair and Wufei stood behind him. Heero looked at the Heavyarms pilot and noticed some like in his eyes. "I'm glad you're all here. I need to talk to you about a mission." He said.  
  
"Mission?" Duo looked at him in surprise. "The doctors sent /you/ a /mission/? Why the hell would they do that? I mean you're in a /hospital/!"  
  
"Duo." Heero stopped him front ranting. "It's my own mission. I haven't even seen a computer since I woke up. This mission is something I want.no, I need to do. And I need your help, all of you. But if you won't help me then I'll do it on my own." He said slowly.  
  
"Well, tell us the mission." Wufei said, wondering what had come up.  
  
Heero hesitated, something nobody had ever seen him do. "The four of us go to the L4 colony and bring back Quatre's body." His request caused everyone to look at him in shock again. "Quatre wanted to be cremated and it's not right to bury him when we all know that the.body won't decompose."  
  
Everyone was quiet, realizing that Heero was right. "I forgot all about that." Duo sighed then looked at the other two. "Heero's right guys. It wouldn't be right to just leave Quatre like that." His voice was soft and serious, a voice the braided boy hardly used.  
  
Wufei nodded. "I agree. Yuy, I'll help you. Winner deserved better than what he got." The Shenlong pilot looked at his friends. Duo nodded but Trowa remained motionless. "Barton?" Wufei questioned.  
  
"Of course I'm going to help." Trowa said softly. "Quatre meant everything to me and I would do anything to make him happy. That doesn't change because he's dead." He took a shuddering breath. "But I have two questions. How are we going to get passed security? Mr. Winner had.the body buried in the cemetery at his main mansion so I couldn't visit the grave."  
  
Heero felt the sorrow passing through Trowa's heart and he fought the urge to comfort the hurting pilot. But he noticed that the urge wasn't as strong as it had been at one time. Curious about it, he made a mental note to talk to Quatre about it. "Iria Winner. She'll help us." He replied.  
  
"You sure?" Duo asked.  
  
Heero nodded. "I have a feeling that she cared greatly about Quatre." He looked at Trowa who nodded slowly. "What was your second questions?" Heero asked.  
  
"Yeah." Trowa whispered, then looked up at Heero, his green eyes piercing and sharp. "Why do you smell like Quatre?"  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: Not Mine.  
  
  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
"W-what?" Heero's eyes went wide as he realized that Trowa was right. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Quatre always smelled like baby powder and cinnamon, but it was different and it was all him. You smell like that now." Trowa's voice was again soft. Heero's mind whirled with this information. Had his 'dream' been some sort of reality? And if it was, why didn't he feel guilty for sleeping with Trowa's lover?  
  
"I.I don't know. I never noticed it before." Heero lied as his mind tried to produce an excuse. When nothing came up he cursed inwardly.  
  
"Wishful thinking I suppose." Trowa mumbled but Heero knew he was still suspicious.  
  
"So about this plan, someone needs to contact Iria and we need to form the plan." Duo began. "Do you think we'll need the Gundams? Oz is still on high security, they have been ever since we." He trailed off, but nobody needed him to mention Quatre to know.  
  
Heero thought about it. They wouldn't need the Gundams once they were on the colony. In fact there was no way to take the Gundams on the colony, they would easily give away their identity. But they could run into Oz in space and they'd need away to defend themselves on the way to the colony and back to Earth. "We'll take one or two Gundams. Deathscythe and Shenlong, we'll need speed and distance combat ability."  
  
"Cool." Duo nodded as Wufei agreed as well. "Why don't Wu and I call Iria while you and Trowa rest. If we expect this mission to succeed then we have to be at our best." Duo slid off the bed as he and Wufei went to the door. "We'll see you two later." He promised and then they were gone.  
  
Heero looked at Trowa, wondering if the Heavyarms pilot was going to leave or just sleep in the chair. But Trowa didn't move and the room was cast in silence.  
  
Finally the banged pilot looked up at Heero and if he hadn't known better he could have sworn that there were tears in those emerald eyes. "Can I stay with you?" He whispered and Heero felt desperation and loneliness wash over his being.  
  
"If you want." Heero nodded as he moved over in the bed. Trowa crawled in beside him silently and they both settled down. Heero felt awkward at first and could feel that Trowa felt the same. Clumsily, the Wing pilot wrapped his arms around Trowa's body, and in return was held comfortably. When Heero closed his eyes he found himself in an empty chamber, Quatre was nowhere to be found. At that thought he noticed that he felt different, like a part of him was missing.  
  
"You need rest. You don't need me right now." Heero opened his eyes and came face to face with an already sleeping Trowa. But behind the slumbering pilot stood the flaxen haired spirit. Around the dead boy shone that same pale blue light as before. Heero was about to ask but Quatre stopped him. "I'm not going anywhere. You will need rest and I will only distract you from real sleep. Sleep well.master." A grin crossed his sweet lips as he whispered.  
  
Heero smiled to himself then closed his eyes to sleep. Quietly Quatre turned off the light.  
  
***  
  
Heero opened his eyes startled.  
  
"Whoa! Sorry!" Duo said from over by the door. "I didn't mean to slam the door." He moved over to the bed and stopped, studying his partner. "Say Hee- chan, you wanna teach me that thing with your eyes? How do you keep changin' the color?" He wondered.  
  
"Color?" Heero wondered. He looked away from Duo and noticed that Quatre was sitting on the end of his bed and Trowa was gone.  
  
"Yeah, they're normal again." Duo shrugged. "Ah well, anyway, I already explained this to Wufei and Trowa while they ate something. Wu made me call Iria 'cause Sally wanted his help. Iria agreed to help us and she gave me directions to Quat's grave."  
  
Heero heard Quatre sigh. "So what will she do to help us?" The Wing pilot asked.  
  
"Well, she said that once we get to the colony she can distract everyone long enough for us to get into the family plot and to the grave. She warned me that it's a big family plot too, but on every tombstone there is a picture of the person. Once we're at the right grave, we're on our own." He said.  
  
Heero nodded. "That's all that she can do. If something goes wrong and we're caught it's best that she not be involved. Now, when do we leave?" He asked.  
  
"It's about midnight now. We were thinking around six. There is a shuttle big enough for both Gundams planning to take off at that time." Duo remembered.  
  
"Sounds fine." Heero nodded. "It should take the day to reach the colony and by the time we arrive and are ready it should be dark.Duo, you don't think I'm insane for this do you?" Heero wondered.  
  
Duo only smiled gently. "I think insanity comes with being human. I mean everyone's gone crazy once in their lives." He shrugged. "So no, I don't /think/ you're insane. And if you are then I am too for going along with it."  
  
Heero smiled. "Thanks Duo." He said softly.  
  
Duo winked. "Wufei and I will wake you up before we're ready to leave." With that he left the room, turning the light off.  
  
Heero turned to Quatre but didn't say anything for a long time. He was content with the silence and he looked at the pale light radiating from the motionless body. It illuminated Quatre as if he were a nightlight. Finally Heero decided to beak the silence. "Where did you spend the night?" He wondered quietly.  
  
A satisfied smiled graced the dark blue lips. "I watched you and Trowa sleep. It's something I wanted to do in life, I'm glad I finally got the chance." He looked at the ceiling. "I used to watch Trowa sleep, he always looked so peaceful.and young. I'd watch you sometimes when I got the chance. Mostly when we were on a mission together. You looked disturbed in your sleep and I always found myself wanting to hold you, to comfort you and to make your nightmares go away.but I was always afraid that you'd wake up and push me away, perhaps say something to the degree of questioning my honor to Trowa." A navy blue tear crawled down his pale blue cheek as his smile turned into a defeated wince. "It's funny if you think about it. I wasn't afraid of dying or of pain. I was more afraid to get my heart broken." He wiped the offending tear away.  
  
"A heart is a terrible thing to break." Heero whispered softly, making Quatre look up at him. "You taught me that. You were kind, not just to me, but to everyone. At first I thought kindness was useless to have in war. But then.you pilots became expectant in my life.I cared for you all. It was more than just respect.it was love, I guess. That of a family and I'd never known that before." By this time Quatre had moved and was now lying beside Heero as he spoke. Heero looked down into deep aquamarine eyes.  
  
No more words were needed between the two lovers. A silent understanding that they both regretted not realizing that they had a chance to be together in life settled around them. Heero sighed and leaned his head on Quatre's shoulder as the blue haired blonde loosely wrapped a cold arm around him. Slowly, Heero's eyes drooped and his last conscious thoughts were about the cold comfort and the next mission.  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: They aren't mine.  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
"Heero, wake up." A voice gently shook the sleeping boy. Heero's eyes fluttered open and he came eye to eye to Trowa. The Heavyarms pilot actually smiled. "I'm sorry I woke you, you looked really peaceful, but the others were worried." His voice was soft and Heero noticed that the room was dim. It was also a different room. He looked at Trowa questioningly. "We're already on the shuttle. You started to form a fever again so Sally drugged you. How do you feel?" He wondered.  
  
Heero felt groggy, though he felt well rested as well as physically healthy. "I feel fine. What time is it?" He wondered as he forced himself to sit up.  
  
"About one. You should probably eat something before you do anything." Trowa suggested then pointed to a tray. "Apple juice and space food." He rolled his eyes. "Should have heard what Duo's reaction was when Wufei brought this on board."  
  
Heero snorted as Trowa gave him the try. "I could imagine. You seem to be in a good mood..." He stopped, not knowing if it was safe to mention it but when a burst of acceptance exploded in Heero's heart, he knew it was fine. /I'm going to miss this ability of yours./ He said to Quatre.  
  
Hai, it does come in handy at times. The blonde said softly and even though Heero couldn't see him, he knew that the ghostly pilot was smiling.  
  
"I am in a good mood." Trowa smiled again. "I was able to mourn the way I needed to. Then I had a dream last night and Quatre told me that it was okay to move on." A nervous feeling crossed Heero's senses. "Is that okay with you Heero?" Trowa's voice dropped as he spoke slower.  
  
Heero was taken back. He knew he wanted to say yes and he knew that both Trowa and Quatre wanted him to say yes. But no matter how loud the voice in his head shouted yes, his mouth and tongue could not form the word nor could his throat force it passed his seemingly clamped lips. "Trowa...I...c...can't." As soon as the words registered to the green eyed boy Heero felt as though his world had just shattered. /No, not my world. Trowa's world, and he had just pieced it back together after Quatre died./  
  
Trowa showed no emotion though and nodded in understanding. "I will be in the cockpit if you need anything." The silent boy stood and bowed, then left the room, quietly closing the door.  
  
"Yes!" Heero finally forced from his mouth. "Fuck! Quatre! Why couldn't I say yes?" He spoke out loud in his panic.  
  
Calm down Heero. Close your eyes so I can explain it to your face. Quatre requested and Heero complied immediately. He found Quatre sitting on the large bed in the prince's chamber. He looked up and smiled but there was a sadness in it that Heero didn't like.  
  
Slowly, Heero crawled up beside the slave and he sat down. Quatre sighed, then handed Heero a necklace with a star made of Gundanium and Heero recognized it right away. "That's the necklace I gave you at your funeral." He spoke softly, then looked back at Quatre, only to find that the boy wasn't looking at him. Heero gently took the necklace. "Why couldn't I say yes? I do love him...don't I?" He whispered, biting his lip.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Yes, you love him, at least, normally you would. But you have to have a heart to love someone." He explained.  
  
"What?" Heero demanded, appalled by the words coming from the gentle boy. "I have a heart!" He shouted.  
  
Quatre didn't flinch, though he was only inches away. "Yes, you're right. You have the heart, but I own it." Aquamarine eyes met dark blue. "You didn't have anything to give me at my funeral so you gave me your necklace and with it, you gave me your heart. It felt nice to hold it but I can't be selfish anymore. So I'm giving it back to you so you can give it to Trowa."  
  
Heero wiped a tear that fell from Quatre's eye. Then, without thinking he pulled Quatre into his arms. The other boy let himself be comforted until his sniffing ceased to continue. The blonde pulled away gently and wiped his eyes. Heero was about to say something but Quatre stopped him by pressing his finger against Heero's lips. "Don't waste your time with me. Go find Trowa and say yes." He whispered.  
  
Heero studied him for a few seconds then nodded. "I will, but I want to know something. Did you really tell Trowa that it was okay to move on? And is it really okay?" He wondered, not wanting to hurt the little angel.  
  
"Yes, I told him and of course it's okay to move on. He didn't need my permission as far as I'm concerned. The only reason I gave it to him was because he never would have let go without it." Quatre explained. "I am dead Heero, you have to remember that. Now go be with Trowa."  
  
Heero nodded and opened his eyes. If he had strayed only a second longer, he would have seen Quatre curl up on the bed and silently cry.  
  
TBC.  
  
~ 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Quatre: People, this is a good thing.a very good thing.  
  
~  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
Heero found Trowa in the cockpit with Duo. The longhaired pilot was busy flying the shuttle so didn't notice him and Trowa only ignored him. Heero stood beside the hurt Heavyarms pilot in silence for a few moments to see if he was going to say anything. When it became apparent that Trowa was going to remain silent, Heero spoke. "Yes." His voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
Slowly, Trowa turned to look at him and he searched Heero's eyes questioningly. After finding his answer he smiled, then took one of Heero's hands. They both noticed the necklace, dangling from Heero's fingers at the same time and Trowa again looked at him in question. Heero took a sharp breath. /Thank you Quatre./ "For you...my heart." He held the necklace out.  
  
At first Trowa didn't say anything then at the same moment they both looked at Duo. "Don't stop on my account." The God of Death muttered without turning around.  
  
A grin crossed Heero's face as it did Trowa's and the taller boy stood up. He pulled Heero into his arms and pressed their lips together in a sealing kiss. Heero found himself noting the difference of tastes between Trowa and Quatre. Trowa tasted of mint and believe it or not, a Gundam, and Heero felt himself strangely drawn to the taste.  
  
Finally the kiss ended, leaving both pilots breathless. Trowa clasped Heero's hand - the one holding the necklace - then pulled the Wing pilot from the cockpit and into the sleeping quarters in which Heero had emerged from. Heero was slightly confused and looked at Trowa. "Are you sure?" The banged pilot asked.  
  
Heero smiled softly and nodded his head. "I had a talk with myself and convinced myself that it was okay. I'm sorry I hurt you." He said quietly.  
  
"It's worth it. Will you let me hold you?" Trowa wondered shyly. Heero nodded and they sat on the bed together and Heero felt so comfortable in Trowa's arms that he fell asleep.  
  
He spotted Quatre lying on the bed. The blonde spirit was curled up in a tight ball and it was clear that he had been crying. Carefully, Heero gathered his little angel into his arms and held Quatre close, being careful not to wake him. "I should have known that you'd be hurt. I'm sorry Quatre. I wish that you were on the outside with us, in my arms for real." The boy stirred, then settled. Heero sighed as he gently placed the boy back on the bed. He lay down beside Quatre and carefully pulled up the soft blanket, then he drew the smaller boy into his arms once more.  
  
The chamber room was old now and it had fulfilled its purpose. It was time for a change and within a blink of an eye, the two were back in the little boat with the blanket wrapped around them, sailing to an unknown dream and once Heero thought of it, he'd make sure to share.  
  
***  
  
"Guys! Wake up!" Duo's loud voice startled both Heero and Trowa awake and unknowingly woke Quatre, ripping them from the cloud where they had claimed each other. "Oz is close by. They tried to contact us. They warned us that there were probably Gundam pilots somewhere around the area. They ordered us to allow them to board so they could look around. But..." Duo shrugged then took a shaky breath. "We need the two of you to fly this shuttle, if something goes wrong, we'll try to cause a big enough distraction that will allow you to escape." The braided boy said, "Now let's go!"  
  
The three boys exited the room and ran down a corridor. Before they split up so Duo could reach Deathscythe in the hanger, Heero grabbed his arm. Duo looked into the baby blue eyes, which suddenly flashed aquamarine. "Come back, we don't need anymore death." Heero whispered in a voice that wasn't his.  
  
"Quatre?" Duo narrowed his eyes in confusion then shook it off and nodded, entering the hanger.  
  
Trowa pulled Heero toward the cockpit. "There are laser weapons on board that we can use." Trowa was explaining as they sat down in the pilot and co- pilot's chairs. Quickly they took control of the spacecraft and set the weapons up. "Watch Duo and I'll watch Qua-Wufei." Trowa corrected himself. Heero let it drop. They were so used to their regular partners that it only became natural to cover them.  
  
/You shouldn't have wasted your life on me./ Heero thought quietly, but as soon as he thought he words, he regretted them. Quatre didn't even responded and Heero didn't have time to worry about him. He accepted his mission of protecting Duo and Deathscythe. The Taurus suits flew around the black Gundam like flies. Heero watched until he recognized a pattern in their flight. Up, right, down, left, right, up, right, down, left, right. The next time one of the Taurus suits flew up, Heero used one of the lasers to slice through the metal. Duo seemed to realize the pattern then, for his scythe cut through a suit on it's down beat.  
  
"The Oz carrier is behind us." Trowa's voice was calm.  
  
"Damn it. We should have brought a third Gundam." Heero cursed mentally. Trowa was silent, then he sighed.  
  
"We did." He mumbled, which made Heero look at him in shock. "It was for the way back, just in case something happened to one of the others if a battle did commence."  
  
"Which one?" Heero demanded.  
  
Trowa sighed. "Sandrock." He replied.  
  
Heero was confused. "But I thought that Sandrock was destroyed when Quatre..." He trailed off.  
  
Trowa nodded. "It was, but Oz was rebuilding it and they had 70% done before we could get it back. While you were unconscious and after you woke up we finished it. Wing Zero had virtually been destroyed and we had only 48% finished when we received Sandrock." He explained.  
  
"70%? That's almost fully functional. Why wasn't Oz testing it out?" Heero wondered.  
  
"They couldn't get it to work." Trowa shrugged. "We couldn't even get the mecha to respond. It's as if Sandrock only responded to Quatre. We brought it mainly for extra parts."  
  
Heero was silent in thought as he watched Shenlong destroy another suit. "Only to Quatre." He mumbled to himself as an idea began to form. "Trowa, will you be able to watch out for both Duo and Wufei?" He wondered. Trowa nodded and tried to ask why, but Heero cut him off. "I'm going out in Sandrock. I think I know how to make it respond." With that he left the control room, ignoring Trowa's protests about his arm.  
  
In the hanger, Heero stared at the white and gray Gundam. A memory flashed through his mind again.  
  
---  
  
"Quatre, take Sandrock and ignore the real intentions of Operation Meteor."  
  
"What? But why?"  
  
"You were trained to defend the colonies but there wouldn't be a colony to defend. Take Sandrock to Earth and fight by following your heart."  
  
"Following my heart?"  
  
"Yes. Do what your heart tells you."  
  
"Alright...Sandrock."  
  
---  
  
"Please Sandrock. We need you to respond." Heero whispered to the mecha as he pulled a space suit on. He shoved on a helmet, then jumped up onto the giant. Once inside he looked at the controls. "Come on. Do it for Quatre."  
  
At the request the Gundam came to life. Heero smiled as he watched. "Thank you." He nodded then pressed a button to open communication. "Open the hatch." He said, knowing Trowa could hear him.  
  
"Be careful 01, come back alive." Trowa's voice crackled from the system and Heero could hear the silent 'to me' at the end. He smiled as the hatch opened to reveal opened space.  
  
"Think we can do this Quatre?" Heero whispered to the empty cockpit as Sandrock left the safety of the ship.  
  
I have faith in you and Sandrock. Quatre said proudly. With that encouragement Sandrock made its way behind the shuttle. Carefully Heero maneuvered the white Gundam, keeping it hidden against the craft. When he was able, Heero zoomed in on the Oz carrier.  
  
"They have almost no weapons." He whispered, as if explaining the facts to Gundam 04. "The only weapon even worth destroying is that beam cannon and it's pointed at the shuttle. I'd have to get behind it quickly but this it the slowest Gundam. If I'm not quick enough but they miss me, they'd hit the shuttle and Trowa would-" Heero shuttered. "No. Trowa is not going to- "  
  
Heero, use the Zero system. It will help. Quatre interrupted.  
  
"The. Zero? You installed the /Zero/ into your Gundam?" Heero was surprised. He knew how much Quatre hated the system and he couldn't imagine the gentle pilot using it again.  
  
Yes. I installed it and little by little I mastered it. Once you master it, it becomes a great advantage. It will help you. Quatre explained. Sandrock will protect you.   
  
Heero sighed; it was his only hope. "Alright." He nodded and activated the system.  
  
TBC..  
  
~ 


End file.
